Archive for April, 2009

5 Great tips from a San Diego Photographer

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

Being asked to take photos for a wedding is a huge responsibility.If you are doing it as a favor, or if you are doing it as your profession, following these 5 tips will help you do the job right.

This tips are coming from first hand experience as a San Diego wedding photographer.You could be a seasoned pro, or you could be an amateur, but by following these tips, you will do the job smoothly without second guessing yourself.Doing this you will be fully prepared come what may.

Our first tip is pretty simple and that is to have the couple and their families make a list for you of shots they want to take.When you know the day will be hectic and chaotic, doing this will help you get the family and group shots later on in the day more smoothly.You will love how you can just go through your list and get all the shots you want without leaving anything out.

The second tip on our list is to not delete any shots.  In this day and age of digital cameras, most photographers use them.  Great as they are, they also are tempting to delete a shot since it is so easy to do.Don’t even think of looking at the shots.What you think may be a great photo, can differ widely in what the couple considers a great photo.You never know, they might like all those so called un “professional shots.

For the the third tip, make sure you get candid shots during and after the wedding.A good wedding photographer doesn’t look to just take your typical shots, like group shots, or wedding shots or your standard newly married shots.  But they will also try and capture the emotions of the day through the shots of all the people that were there.It could include things that don’t go perfectly, like a flower girl not wanting to walk down the aisle or the ring bearer making a wrong turn.  Every shot counts.

The fourth one to consider, and something that can easily be overlooked is to make sure you have several cameras with several lenses as backup.Do you even want to think of a moment like that of not having a working camera halfway through the wedding.Plan for the worst that could go wrong.  Being prepared will help you avoid that uncomfortable moment of not having a working camera to capture the rest of the day.

Finally, practice your lighting as well. The difference between the lighting in the church and the outside reception can throw you a curve ball, so just practice for all different lighting situations. Go see the locations and scout it out for the big day, by finding the best places to shoot as well as studying the lighting needs.

Taking these 5 tips into account will help you immensely.  It will prepare you for whatever might go wrong, it will prepare you for capturing what goes right, and it will prepare you to help contribute to this wonderful day by being the best photographer you can be.  Take it from my years of experience as a San Diego photographer.

Counseling And Same Sex Marriages

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

licensed professional counselors

“Gay men and lesbians are known for rushing into commitments,” says San Francisco marriage therapy professional Michael Halyard. “Getting married for political reasons is not a recipe for longevity. It’s important to know yourself, know your partner and be realistic about how serious marriage is.” Halyard recommends premarital counseling for gay and lesbian couples thinking about same sex marriages, as “an insurance policy” to help them stay together. “The idea behind premarital counseling is to strengthen the marriage prior to the wedding – so the relationship can withstand the challenges that inevitably come up.”

In some ways, a same sex marriage will suffer the same trials and tribulations as their heterosexual counterpart, as both will argue about finances, power struggles, household chores, child rearing, autonomy and intimacy. Also, a 2008 study by the American Psychological Association found that same sex couples are just as happy and committed in their romantic relationships as heterosexual couples.

However, researchers have also noted that civil marriages of gay and lesbian couples showcase different conflict styles. Same sex marriages researcher and author Esther Rosenblum found that “Same-sex couples tend to use effective arguing. They give each other a fair hearing, and their conflicts are brief and quickly forgotten. Heterosexual couples argue ineffectively. Their conflicts are more frustrating and don’t get solved for days.” She adds that gay and lesbian couples come from the same cultural backgrounds, which makes it easier for them to resolve conflicts. “When women argue, they tend to focus on the relationship, and when men argue, they tend to focus on logic and problem solving,” she explains.

Politically, widespread legalization of same sex marriages still has a long way to go. Religious leaders outwardly condemn such unions, arguing that we must “preserve the sanctity of marriage.” Other strict interpreters of the law argue that marriage is defined as “the union between a man and a woman,” and therefore cannot include civil marriages between man and man or woman and woman. Even so, many other politicians and members of society feel that discrimination based on sexual orientation is unjust and unfair. They advocate for same sex benefits and unions that are not called “marriage” to bridge the gap.

Relationship Help - 3 Key Secrets

Saturday, April 25th, 2009

You can really improve the quality of your relationship with a few simple practices.  Here are the top three tips you can put to use today to make your relationship even better.  More detailed information on all of this is available in a free relationship course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never Learned In School.

Top Practice Number One:  Play!  Studies have shown that the more play you have with your partner, the less fighting there will be.  So if you are fighting a lot, play more, and test this out for yourself.  Just a few hours a week can begin to uplift your entire relationship.

So do you have a date night at least once a week where you both go spend time playing together like you did in the beginning?  Make the time to have fun with your mate!

Top Tip Number Two:  Get Better At Conflict.  Conflict will happen in any relationship.  Studies have shown that how lovers deal with conflict determines the length and quality of the relationship.  During conflict we all tend to revert emotionally to 7 year olds, but screaming at your mate or expressing contempt are some of the big trouble signs for a relationship.

As you will be arguing with your love from time to time anyway, it is good to start now to take some time to learn how to deal with conflict in healthy ways.  One technique is to learn to attack less during a fight and use “I” statements rather than “you” statements to discuss how you feel.  You can get some free training on conflict and Emotional Intelligence here.

Top Secret Number Three is to Minimize the Mind Reading.  Your partner can’t read your mind.  They don’t actually just know what you want and need.  Realize this and help them out by asking for what you want.  If you need some time to yourself, ask.  If you need them to just listen instead of give you their advice, speak up for that as well.

By asking for what you need, you can prevent a lot of fights and sulking.At the same time you can help your mate to make requests when they start to get irritated by something.  That’s being a good lover.

There is obviously a lot more to each of these three topics.  Books have been written on them.  But spending some time and effort on these three principles will pay off for your relationship over the long term.  If you’d like to learn more about Relationship Intelligence to transform your love life, you can fix relationship problems with a free course.

Get Ex Back Using A Power Apology

Saturday, April 25th, 2009

We never really got any training on how to apologize powerfully.  Sure, all of us know how to say I’m sorry.  But if you did your ex wrong and now you want them back, you’re going to need to say something much more powerful than I’m sorry.

There is a free course you can download instantly on this at Getting Your Ex Back In Hours.

Fortunately, there are deeper levels of apologies that we never learned in school.  When you have lost your relationship and your love because you did something wrong to them, you will need to make a Power Apology.

A power apology can get your ex from anger to forgiveness sometimes in minutes when done correctly.  Here are some of the important steps involved in making an apology that can get your ex back:

The first step in a Power Apology is to own up to what you did wrong.  Don’t offer a bunch of stories or try to blame your ex “you were cold to me and I was drunk!”  Fessing up to what you did wrong is powerful, it lets you mate  know that you understand the core problem.

The second thing is to mirror their hurt feelings.  You say something like “Hon, I know I made you feel betrayed and unloved and very say by cheating on you…”  This is a very powerful form of emotional intelligence.  When you mirror their hurt feelings, they will feel like you really do understand the impact of your actions.

The third thing is to let them vent and get their hurt feelings off their chest.  You listen and let them tell you how they feel about what you did.  You just want to make them feel heard and understood, so you listen and don’t defend or try to explain yourself.

To understand more about the power of venting, you can check out the information at a site on Relationship Intelligence.

Now you are making a powerful apology!  You are being an adult, taking responsibility for what you did, mirroring their feelings, and letting them vent.  This is crucial to helping your ex release and let go of their negative feelings, which they have to do before they can truly forgive you.

Once you have done these three things, you are now ready to actually apologize.  And your apology will much more likely be accepted, which can lead your ex back into your arms fast.

Part 2 of this article discusses the steps to take after you’ve apologized, and it can be seen here at Get Ex Back Part 2.

Marriage Counseling Services - What Are Its Types?

Saturday, April 25th, 2009

counseling for marriage

There are numerous marriage counseling services at your disposal, whether you’re newly married or a seasoned veteran. Sometimes there are obvious signs of trouble, such as drug or alcohol abuse, sex addiction or physical abuse. These dire situations will not benefit from basic counseling for couples, but rather demand a more specialized program with licensed professional counselors who are trained to deal with these situations. For couples who simply feel their happiness waning, there are other marriage therapists available.

For many middle-aged couples, the arguments revolve around finances, careers and kids. If you or your spouse have debt problems, are big spenders or argue over who wields the power of the purse, then perhaps credit counselors can help eradicate the source of your frustration. Often, when we’re strapped for cash, we begin to act out of character and we may begin to communicate poorly because we’re afraid to face the facts. Prioritizing becomes exceedingly difficult if you are living penny to penny.

Additionally, career counselors can sometimes offer counseling for marriage. There may be arguments over retiring, changing jobs, re-entering the workforce after child rearing or not making a stable income. Lastly, disagreements over child rearing can tear at the very fabric of a marital bond, leaving the children to become the unfortunate casualties of such squabbles. A specialized family marriage counselor can help readjust your attitudes and focus, thus arming you with better parenting skills and unified goals.

For the worst situations, marriage counseling services must be specialized. There is precious little that someone who is trained in counseling for couples can do if one of the partners is beating the other mercilessly night after night. Instead, abuse counselors will work with the individual to find the triggers of this rage, teach other coping skills and help a person overcome their violent tendencies. The abused may then seek separate mental health counselors to overcome residual feelings of powerlessness, fear, resentment and self-blame. Once each person finishes extensive treatment, they may be ready for therapy aimed at couples to address communication barriers. Similarly, situations that become destructive due to one person’s alcohol or drug abuse issues will require rehabilitation counselors before counseling for the couple may begin.

Online marriage counseling services are available for those who don’t have the time or the gumption to go to actual sessions. The cost of online therapy with licensed counselors may be $2/minute, which is comparable to the cost of a normal session or they may charge a one-time fee for materials like quizzes, books and skill building presentations. You may be able to email licensed counselors, participate in video conferences or gain access to local resources. These treatments are not as effective as face-to-face counseling for a couple but are better than nothing, if time or money is limited.

Find Out Where Your Spouse Is Spending Their Time With Real Time GPS Tracking

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

There are many types of spy equipment on the market. The most useful, however, may be the real time gps tracker.

Real Time GPS - With a real time GPS tracker you can get all the same information that a GPS logger will provide. However, through the use of website based software, accessed via the internet, or even a cell phone you will be able to see where the tracker is right now in real time. For example your partner calls you and says he/she has to work late. You could simply log onto the website and see where his/her car is right now and not after the fact.

There are may models of real time GPS on the market. One of the main things that you want to be aware of is the monthly subscription fees. When you purchase the tracker you will have to subscribe to a website to access the software to get locations and history reports. The monthly fee can range from $19 per month to $89 per month depending on the company used and the amount of usage.

Battery life could be the single biggest factor in choosing a real time GPS tracker. Many of the smaller GPS tracker’s batteries will only last 6-8 hours depending on how often the tracker is set up to report it’s location. Always take into account how long the tracker will stay on the vehicle before you can change the batteries.

One of the most reliable and cost effective GPS units on the market is the Trim Trac Pro Real Time Tracker. It has a battery life of up to 90 days and is totally self contained. Complicated wiring and mounting a GPS antenna are things of the past. Simply place it in or on the vehicle and start tracking.

Some trackers can text the current location to a cell phone without having a subscription. The only problem with this is that the global coordinates are all that you get in most cases. If you are near a computer you can go to Google Earth and enter the coordinates to view on a map, but if you are not the info on the text will probably not be useful.

When placing the GPS tracker on the vehicle there are several things to consider.

  1. The tracker must be able to communicate with the satellites and the cellular towers. The GPS tracker cannot be completely enclosed by metal. Placing the tracker in the trunk is not always the best option. Under a seat or in the glove box will almost always work. The tracker can be put under the vehicle in some cases but is not the best option. If you put the tracker under the vehicle be sure tio put it close to the edge as you can and keep as many sides of the device free from any metal that may obstruct it from communicating.
  2. Easy removal. Be sure that you can easily remove the tracker from the vehicle. You will need to change the batteries occasionally. Putting the tracking device inside of the car could be a mistake if you do not have easy access to change the batteries.

A real time GPS tracking device could be the way to go if you want to know where your spouse has been spending their time. I hope this helps.

Can Pre Marriage Counseling Help Deal With Relationship Hurdles?

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

counseling for couples

Pre marriage counseling with Christian counselors is usually mandated by the Church prior to a marriage ceremony. There are secular alternatives with licensed counselors that couples may choose as well. These classes can range from one hour to forty hours and cover topics about how to handle conflict, how to make decisions together, how to communicate and strategies for increasing marital satisfaction. Though many people view relationships as being intensely personal, the advantages of preventative care and maintenance are overwhelming.

The question of when to seek marriage counseling before the big day may be dicey. It’s sort of like a prenuptial, which some people may find offensive or as admonishing the fact that “Hey things may not work out as planned!” As the practice of counseling for couples becomes more widespread, this becomes less an issue, though. To help guide you, the California Association for Marriage Family Therapists came up with several criterion. If you’re young and have never married, then go! If one partner is “commitment-o-phobic,” then go! If there are unresolved issues regarding money, parenting, household responsibilities, work or sex, then go! If one or more partners have had a previously failed marriage, go! If you feel you’d like added conflict resolution skills, go! Lastly, if there has been a history of childhood or domestic abuse, go! Sometimes these seemingly minor obstacles can become full-blown catastrophes later, so it’s important that they’re addressed early and professionally.

Money is the main reason why couples should seek pre marriage counseling. It’s important that both partners are on the same path, since the top reason for young divorce is financial problems. Mental health counselors say that the real argument here is over control. One person may accuse the other of slowly seeping all the money out of the joint account through frivolous spending patterns. There are also clashes between those who have saved adequately for their retirements and those who are praying for miracles. Often, one person will assume control of the finances but fail to budget appropriately, which creates an emergency situation when an unexpected expense pops up. It can be difficult to give up part of your financial independence and begin functioning as a unit, yet among other things, marriage counselors can help ease the transition.

Many pre marriage counseling sessions are more like educational courses, rather than therapy. The counselors are there to teach you ways to comfort your crabby partner after he or she has had “the worst day ever.” They’ll show you how to communicate your needs and wants without nagging, complaining or accusing. They’ll teach you how to overcome marriage-killer behavioral patterns like stone-walling, criticizing, defensiveness and contemptuousness. Before you say “I Do,” you can learn your personal conflict styles and recognize the relationship’s strengths and possible weaknesses, which will create better understanding in the long run.

Flowers Online - makes all your occasions auspicious

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

The naive, beautiful as well as colorful flowers have a enormous meaning in our being. Any lucky juncture, societal happening or company party is unfinished without the presence of flowers. Flowers have the capability to verbalize volumes about your feelings or phrases without saying a specific word. Stunning aromatic flowers are the top channel to convey your message. You don’t have to say get fine soon while giving a bunch to a tolerant, your message is already conveyed through the flowers. Similarly, when you are giving a striking red or yellow rose to your lover of friend, you do not have to verbalize much. It is definitely not an effortless chore to defeat the mounting requirement of flowers around the planet. Being a market head, Buy flowers online is handling this difficult duty with great simplicity. Buy Flowers Online is the most reliable supplier of the salubrious in addition to good eminence flowers, around the planet.

Since decades they are transacting with the fresh flowers and secured high repute as the best in addition to efficient florist in the marketplace. They supply fresh flowers through the group of their show rooms, positioned in all the major towns of the country in addition to to overcome the huge want for the salubrious flowers, they have to open their show rooms round the clock to serve their clients better. Your picked flower composition would be delivered by Buy Flowers Online on the identical day, anyplace within the country. Being the truthful as well as paramount florist, Buy Flowers Online follows a tradition to send supply confirmation in both international and local orders.

The striking website commenced by Buy flowers Online is very helpful for those patrons, who are not able to pop round to their showrooms. The website of Buy Flowers Online is fully operational with apposite details related to great varieties of flowers and flower compositions. The customers are also allowed to select diverse groupings of the flower or they can recommend their own pattern. The professional sales band of Buy flowers online would take an keen botheration to deliver those ordered flowers through the website. The website has an arrangement to accept all types of credit cards or other approaches of compensation when buying flowers online.

Finding the Best Photographer

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

Have a special day coming up that you need to find a photographer for?  Well you’re in luck.  The experience I have gained as a San Diego Photographer will be to your benefit as I share some insights on what you need to do to find the right person for the job.  So before you roll the dice with any old photographer in the yellow pages, heed my quick tips and you will be very pleased in what photographer you find for the job.

When you know that a special day is coming up, most people want a way to remember those special moments, and most of the time it will be with pictures.  So it is critical that if you are going to hire a photographer to capture those moments, that you do your research, , especially if it is a wedding, I know from first hand experience as a San Diego Wedding Photographer.  Start by asking friends and family for any people they can refer you to.  With that list, you can start to put together some potential candidates.

After you have accumulated a list of photographers you should visit their websites.  Check out events they have shot and determine whether or not that is the type of photography you are looking for.  Photographers who have online portfolios will save you a lot of time because then you can prequalify them instead of having to wait til your first meeting to see their portfolio.

Now that you have narrowed your list down to photographers you want to talk with, it is time to do some interviewing.  This can be over the phone rather than going in person, so you can save some more time.  What you want to accomplish with these phone interviews is to have your specific questions answered.  When you do this, you will have a better feel on whether or not this will be the right person for the job.  By doing this, you can narrow down your list even further, and now whoever is left over, you can finally meet in person to look over their work and discuss more details even further.

After you have completed the final steps of this process of narrowing down the field.  After you have gone through your interview process, it is time to pull the trigger and make a choice.  The factors you want to base your decision upon will be, does this person know what you want for that special day?  In other words, do they know your vision?  Also you want to make sure it is a person you like.  Getting along with a photographer for that special day is something not to be taken lightly.  You want it someone you match with personality wise, because the last thing you need is to have a stressful day.  If they meet your criteria, go ahead and choose one.

Completing all these steps will be huge in helping ensure that you find the right person for the job.  Doing this simple process will help you determine a couple of very important things.  It will allow you to get to know your photographer more than any other method.  This is important because it will allow you to know if this person has the style and the vision you are looking for on your special day.  And most importantly you will have a piece of mind that you will not have found any other way in regards to knowing if you have found the right person.  On special days, the last thing you need to stress over is the photographer.

Making Use Of Family Counselors During Tough Times

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009

licensed counselors

Family counselors can help heal the wounded psyche of both children and adults following a divorce, during a divorce or upon the brink of a divorce. While the split may seem inevitable, the communication skills and the conflict mediation skills from professional licensed counselors will be extremely valuable. Adults, caught up in their own melodrama, often lose sight of the impact their actions have on their children. Even though they may seem okay, the consequences of divorce are extremely damaging; not just in the short term but in the long term as well.

In general, a family counselor is skilled in an area of psychotherapy that helps parents and children interact, communicate, resolve conflicts, deal with emotions, understand one another better and forgive. Family therapy from licensed counselors can benefit families with marital problems, divorce, eating disorders, depression, substance abuse, work-related stress, credit problems, violence, parenting disagreements, grief or chronic health problems. Typically, families will attend weekly one-hour sessions with a family marriage counselor for a period of three to five months. However, if physical abuse, substance abuse or divorce is a factor, then the duration may be extended.

Family counselors have one goal and one goal only, and that is to bring family members closer together. Throughout several consecutive sessions, a family marriage counselor will examine each member’s problem solving skills, emotional capacity, role within the family, behavioral patterns and communication styles to see how each person may be helping or hindering the dysfunctional family unit. By understanding each other’s motivations, strengths and weaknesses, family members can learn to diffuse anger and form more peaceful, meaningful relationships.

Family counselors focus on relationship building more than diagnosing individual disorders or illnesses. If one of the family members is a substance abuser or physical abuser, then he or she may be sent to abuse counselors as well. Or, if the couples are feuding bitterly following a separation, then they may require divorce assistance on top of group family therapy. Sitting down together to resolve differences may not solve everything, but it is certainly a positive step toward ending destructive patterns that threaten to weaken your familial bonds.